Musings and Personal

The Truth

“Never be terrorized away from the truth.  Now, more than ever, please take up your pens and your laptops and WRITE.”

This phrase gave me the strength to write this post:

I can’t keep being bounced around like a ping pong ball.

Yesterday was a stressful day with Payton.  I had her correct errors on her homework.

You’d think I’d told her to cut off her thumb instead.  The ebb and flow of crying, yelling, door slamming, stomping…

That night she couldn’t get to sleep until I got home.  When I tucked her in, she said she didn’t want me to go out of town for four days.  I reassured her that we would video chat.  She said she still didn’t want me to go.

And then this morning.

I told her to bring her backpack to me so I could make sure she packed everything.  She hadn’t.

I told her to find her homework folder, put her homework in it, and put it in her backpack.  A moment later “I have to find a stapler and staple these sheets together,” with the unspoken accusation that I took them apart.

I told her to put her name on the homework pages because they were all blank.  She tried to control the situation by acting helpless.  She got agitated when I ignored her control attempts.

I told her to go calm down in her room.  A full-throttle tantrum ensued.

“It’s your fault I act like this!  It always happens because you make me do this stuff!”

She ran into her room and slammed the door.  And over and over I heard stomping and yelling and angry tears.  I closed the French doors to cut off the sound.

My son no longer asks why Payton is crying.  Instead, he silently walks over and gives me a big hug.

Paige has begun noticing her sister’s storms are a regular occurrence.  Now she either tells me Payton is crying or asks why she is crying.  All I can say is “it doesn’t concern you.”

But it does.  It concerns us all.  Because it affects us all.

A good 15 minutes of this and Payton has calmed down.

It’s time to leave.

Payton walks over and gives me a sideways hug, takes my hand, smiles up at me and walks me down the hallway.  Then she walks out the front door without a hug or “I love you.”  When she hears my son say it, she hollers it as an afterthought.

This has been a daily occurrence since school resumed after Winter Break.*

It makes me wonder if I should publish my story.  Because as much as I believe we need to change lives of children in foster care, there are days I question my decision to help with that change.

When I read “Never be terrorized away from the truth.  Now, more than ever, please take up your pens and your laptops and WRITE,” I knew I needed to do this, regardless of how terrified I am.

*  If your inclination is to say all kids do this, please read my prior blog “NEVER say these things to the parent of a kid w/ RAD.”

Musings and Personal

Innocence

Remember what it was like as a child?  Innocent and carefree, not a concern in the world!

My almost 11-year-old son asked the other day why I don’t let him watch R-rated movies with violence or play M-rated video games.  (His father’s favorite is BioShock.)

I asked him if he knew the meaning of ignorance.  He more or less did.

I explained the phrase “ignorance is bliss.”  He didn’t understand because his teacher has a sign that says “the only cure for ignorance is education.”  I told him that was true but I wasn’t talking about school smarts.

I asked if there were things he knew now that he wished he didn’t, such as there being no Santa Claus.  He said yes.

I told him once you’ve lost your innocence, you can’t get it back.

The video above shows my daughter carelessly skipping down the sidewalk.  It is the reason I don’t let my son play those video games or watch those movies.

It can be hard to stand behind this belief when other parents don’t share it.  These rules can be hard for my son to accept.  But I am committed to preserving his innocence as long as possible.

What are your thoughts on this subject?  Do you have parenting beliefs and/or styles that butt heads with other parents or even society as a whole?