Yesterday I struggled with my blog because of writer’s block. I also wanted to avoid cleaning the house. 🙂
But I did both things.
Today I have something to write about.
It is reflecting on something that, it seems, I didn’t do very well.
I entered a writing contest two months ago. I thought I did a damn good job on the piece. I didn’t think I’d win the contest; however, I thought it was good enough to be published in their online magazine.
I didn’t win. I didn’t get runner up. I got declined.
I am not 100% sure what that means; it’s vague.
- Did they decline to accept it because I overlooked something in the directions?
- Did they get so many wonderful pieces that mine was bound to get passed up?
- Did they think it sucked? (DID it suck?)
Disappointed, I told a friend what happened. He said, The thing to keep in mind is that you wrote for you and not for them. But I’m not sure that’s true… I entered the contest to get my submission published in the magazine. I wanted something to pad my proposal, when it comes time to submit my manuscript to an agent.
Could that be my problem? Am I focusing too much on making a name for myself that I am losing the joy of writing?? If the intrinsic value of writing – what got me through my first draft of crap – is gone, then what IS the point of writing?
My mother always told me I was a good writer. I’ve always believed her. Now I question it.
I’ve connected with inspiring bloggers online. I connected with amazing writers at the Conference in February. Reading the words these people weave together into a rich tapestry, I cannot help but compare myself, and I come up short.
I know I’m not a bad writer; I got A’s in all my Advanced English classes in High School and College. But is not being a bad writer enough?
And then I think enough for what? If my goal is to get published, then, no, it isn’t enough. HOWEVER, If my goal is to write for the joy of writing, then I believe it is more than enough.