I chose the term “biological” for my adopted daughters’ biological family. This is the note posted on my Personal FB page addressing the reasons:
A word or two about the proper terms for my girls’ biological parents. Apparently the term “biological” isn’t PC anymore.
However, I don’t like the term “birth parents” because only one person is a birth parent, the mother, so where does that leave the father? Also, I was there for Paige’s birth, so in a way I am a birth mother – don’t get me wrong, I didn’t have the hard part! -so that doesn’t fit well for me.
Another term I’ve heard is “first parents.” I don’t like that term for two reasons: We adopted through foster care so technically we are our girls’ third parents; each lived in a foster home before they became part of our family. Second, even though I don’t have a problem not being first, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth because many people believe if you’re not first, then you’re last.
A third term I’ve heard is “life parents.” This is definitely true… in part. They gave my girls the gift of life; however, I am teaching them life, so that term isn’t accurate either.
To me, biological parents is the perfect term: They are the people who gave the girls their biology (genes, DNA, etc) but are not raising them.
Though, to be honest, I think Payton came up with the best term of all. Years ago when we adopted her, she called them “my other mommy and daddy.” And I have absolutely no problem with that because she is right! She does have two mommies and two daddies.
These are my thoughts and feelings about adoption terms. I don’t get upset if others use any of these other “PC” terms.
I did admittedly, for the first time, hear a term yesterday that I didn’t like: “natural parents.” It implies I am an “unnatural parent.” It also begs the question of who the “natural” parent is in the cases of surrogacy and other infertility treatments. Finally, what about those people who cannot have children the “natural” way and must adopt if they want children?
Again, these are my thoughts and opinions – take what you like and leave the rest.